God Does Choose Marriages for those Who Seek and Obey His Will
God ordains marriages. And I choose divine covenant pairing, over human matchmaking out of my limited human knowledge. Just as I pray for God’s will, not mine over every other area of my life. Why do most Christians balk at the idea that sovereign, omnipotent God would not be in charge of something so influential over your salvation, sanctification and calling—like the influence of another through your lifetime, one that represents the marriage between Christ and the church?
I will write about this more in depth later, but people’s little faith in the sovereignty, and omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient knowledge of God who promises to instruct us in everything, and have the best plan for every area of their lives, makes them deny the idea of there being one God-ordained spouse which is God’s best.
I believe in the sovereign supremacy of God’s plans in all things—including the very facet of life—marriage— that represents the bride which is the church and the bridegroom—Christ. To think God doesn’t have a specific will for who you marry is not Scriptural..
The modern, evasive theology of “there is no one, it’s a choice” is a post-hoc justification for people who chose without seeking God’s will. It is a comfort doctrine for disobedience for which God forgives, but often has destructive consequences born out of sin, leading to divorce, and a falling away from the narrow path, and calling for believers.
Yes, we have free will, but we are to surrender our entire life to God and pray “not my will, but Yours be done,” as He has a sovereign will which is best in all areas of your life. To suggest that God who numbers the hairs on our head, ordains our steps, and compares marriage to His relationship with the Church, is somehow passive about the most consequential human covenant is poor theology designed to shrink God down to fit our actions.
Dr. Charles Stanley always preached about this; about how the “worst weeping” came from people crying to him about marriages they never asked God if He ordained. Because they “just assumed they’d work it out,” instead of looking for God’s best, God’s direction, and God’s timing.
Scripture commands us to, “In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:6). Not act first, justify and ask God to bless it after. Jeremiah 29:11 states that He has plans to prosper us.
Proverbs 3:6
In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
The Scripture Supports God-ordained Marriages
Matthew 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Genesis 2:18
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
What God has joined together. God divinely pairs covenant marriages, for those who seek His best through obedience and surrender, not their own limited human knowledge. Why, for many Christians, is choosing a spouse, the exception to God’s plans to prosper us in Jeremiah 29:11?
Jacob and Rebekah, Rachel and Isaac, Ruth and Boaz–all hand selected by God to be together in holy covenant matrimony for His purpose, even for the very purpose of the lineage of Jesus Christ.
Priscilla and Aquila were a married, missionary couple who taught Paul the apostle, so pray-tell, how does God not have a specific will for who your spouse is?
Waiting Season
Those in a waiting season must remember to set their eyes on God only—not transactionally, for He sees the heart—but to delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (that align with His will as He sanctifies and prunes you).
Psalm 37:4-5
4 Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
5 Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
Matthew 6:33
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
The waiting is not divine punishment, it is preparation, sanctification, healing, so you can become the kind of soul that you pray to have as a spouse. Remember this for every blessing you pray for–Moses spent 40 years in the desert before the burning bush, and David wrote Psalms in caves before the palace.
God’s Best
Personally, I have experienced how God’s sovereign will is best–when I’ve surrendered my plans, and prayed and waited for God’s best only, I have received bigger and better than I ever imagined, in His kairos timing, beyond anything human effort could orchestrate.
Ephesians 3:20
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us
So how could God number the very hairs on our head and have a sovereign plan for us which is best in every area but covenant marriage? He does.
The cost of conviction is waiting as people think you’re stubborn and delusional, but that is faith, and an experiential relationship with God.
It is better to wait for a covenant that mirrors the one between Christ and the Church, not cheap chemistry nor simply eros or philio that will never be agape.
I will always choose God’s sovereign plan by obeying, over human agency born out of limited human knowledge and works of the flesh.
God is real, he speaks, he heals, he has a best–and He has proven this time and time again in my life. His best is not for the impatient. His best is a divine, specific, covenant love that He carefully prepares for those who listen, obey, wait, and walk in God’s purpose, through the loneliness, betrayal, and external pressure.
Blessed are the uncompromising, unsettling, for they shall inherit God’s best.